when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She's the barista slut.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
