tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
