And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize