It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
