the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
