True but thats because hes a fetus.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
