You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
