I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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