Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
