I'm really into asian looking animals
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize