I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
