You can't special order awesome
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
