He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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