Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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