if you like me you must not know who I am
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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