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I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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