i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
