Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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