Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize