suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
