So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
