im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
