had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
