And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
