More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
