Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
