obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
