the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
