Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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