Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
