first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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