Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
