is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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