I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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