Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
