it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
