would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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