They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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