I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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