we have officially lost it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
