he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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