i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize