so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
