new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
