you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think my mom watched the whole time
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize