You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
