Yo dont text me then not text me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize