Heybabeimwearingurpanties
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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