Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
