Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
