i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
