I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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