Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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