fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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