you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
