The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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