I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
FUCK WHALES
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
