The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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