he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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