that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
