shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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