I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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