we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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