Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
