I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
