i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
